>> jon: that's our show. join us next week at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. ♪ ♪ do the harlem shake ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) [eagle caw] [crowd chanting stephen] >> stephen: welcome to the report. thank you for joining us! [cheers and applause] folks, i have to tell you, these folks -- [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] folks, when you do that, you make me want to shake. [cheers and applause] nation, before we begin, i want to wish everyone a happy valentine's day. [cheers and applause] i hope you're spending it with someone you love. and if you're watching my show, you are. [laughter] of course, when it comes to holidays, i'm an originalist. on christmas, it's not santa claus, it's sinterklaas. you leave out your shoes for him to fill with nuts and dried fruit, or, if you've been naughty, you're kidnapped by his moorish elfin sidekick black peter. [laughter] ho, ho, ho. [laughter] and i have the same rigorous standards for saint valentine's day. i focus on what the day's rea